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The Empress of All Seasons by Emiko Jean

Each generation, a competition is held to find the next empress of Honoku. The rules are simple. Survive the palace's enchanted seasonal rooms. Conquer Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. Marry the prince. All are eligible to compete--all except yokai, supernatural monsters and spirits whom the human emperor is determined to enslave and destroy. Mari has spent a lifetime training to become empress. Winning should be easy. And it would be, if she weren't hiding a dangerous secret. Mari is a yokai with the ability to transform into a terrifying monster. If discovered, her life will be forfeit. As she struggles to keep her true identity hidden, Mari's fate collides with that of Taro, the prince who has no desire to inherit the imperial throne, and Akira, a half-human, half-yokai outcast. Torn between duty and love, loyalty and betrayal, vengeance and forgiveness, the choices of Mari, Taro, and Akira will decide the fate of Honoku in this beautifully written, edge-of-your-seat YA...
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Animorphs Book 30: The Reunion by K. A. Applegate

Marco has an opportunity to eliminate Vissers One and Three, but only if he can hold it together and keep the bright line. We see his inclination towards ruthlessness, but also the stark reality that he's just a kid with an impossible choice.

Marco's self-assessment is both honest and aspirational. He is right that he sees the "bright line" from A to B, but he holds on to the idea that it will stay that simple when the life of someone he loves is on the line. It's simultaneous a mature and honest assessment of his capabilities, and a hopelessly naive belief that starting down this path won't in itself make it harder to finish.

I don't mean to be cryptic, but this one is incredibly interesting, terribly sad... and full of spoilers for Marco's entire arc so far.

A boy (Marco) turns into a cockroach

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