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Yours Celestially by Al Hess

After divorce, death, and having his reformatted soul uploaded into a new body, Sasha expected resurrection to be a fresh start. His time spent in digital Limbo with the program's cheeky AI guardian angel, Metatron, was cathartic, but what good is a second life when he only sees his daughter on the weekends, he has all the same problems he had before he died, and he can't seem to shake the ache for the married life he lost? If that weren't frustrating enough, a glitch in the program has given Sasha the ability to sense Metatron even outside of Limbo. And Metatron is in love. The angel's sickly-sweet yearning for one of the souls still in Limbo has turned Sasha's stomach into caramelized lead. It's hard enough to move on without someone else's feelings making the emptiness in his own life even more acute. He didn't have playing wingman to an actual winged being on his bingo card, but he's determined to help Metatron make a move on their crush so he ca...

I Am Legend by Richard Matheson

Robert Neville is the last living man on Earth...but he is not alone. Every other man, woman, and child on Earth has become a vampire, and they are all hungry for Neville's blood.

By day, he is the hunter, stalking the sleeping undead through the abandoned ruins of civilization. By night, he barricades himself in his home and prays for dawn.

How long can one man survive in a world of vampires?

CONTRIBUTOR(S): Robertson Dean
PUBLISHER: Blackstone Publishing
YEAR: 1954
LENGTH: 317 pages (11 hours)
AGE: Adult
GENRE: Classics, Horror, Science Fiction
RECOMMENDED: N/A

General Vibe: What if the end of the world sucked because there are no more non-deadly women to fuck?

DNF 3% in.

Having heard for years that the book "I Am Legend" is much better than the movie (which I liked), I tried the book.

Holy crap, that was a quick DNF. The (cis, white, male) protagonist's main complaint about maybe being the last human is how it made him involuntarily celibate. Written in the 1950's, this has not aged well. Also, his reaction to vampire babes moaning sexily outside his window is to be upset about how much he wants to but can't/shouldn't fuck them. I like sexy vampires. I like unsexy vampires. I do not care for man complaining that sexy vampires are a trap.  I stopped after the weird thought exercise about whether vampires are worse than the mothers of politicians and arms manufacturers, distillers, and pornographers. 

The one thing I will grant it is that the audiobook narrator did a great job, their narration reinforced the trapped feeling of his perspective, how much he focuses his thoughts on emotionally safe pathways (for him), and tries to avoid his distress. Unfortunately those pathways are sexist as fuck. 

Moderate CW for sexism, misogyny, cursing, grief, alcohol, drug use, medical content, injury detail, child death, death.

Minor CW for war.

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A slightly blurry image of vampires with bared fangs, standing in columns stretching into the distance.


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