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How to Bare Your Neck and Save a Wreck by D.N. Bryn (Guides for Dating Vampires #3)

"I only take what's owed me, and you, my little swan, owe me blood." A single kiss from a masked vampire has left Shane with an obsession and a mission: uncover the secrets of the black-market blood trade and find his mystery vampire in the process. But one knock at the wrong door and he could have fangs at his throat instead of lips. Andres is trying to forget his kiss with Shane Crowley by drowning himself in his work as a thief for the blood trade. When his boss seizes an overcurious Shane to drain his blood, though, Andres's only option is to buy him for every drop he'll ever produce. This new ownership awakens thoughts of glittering collars-thoughts Andres knows are the desires of a monster. But Andres needs blood to live, and he's going to have it from Shane, even if that means donning a mask once more and demanding Shane bare his neck during nightly excursions. Soon, Shane feels pulled in all directions, between the strange desires his role as Andres...
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I Am Legend by Richard Matheson

Robert Neville is the last living man on Earth...but he is not alone. Every other man, woman, and child on Earth has become a vampire, and they are all hungry for Neville's blood.

By day, he is the hunter, stalking the sleeping undead through the abandoned ruins of civilization. By night, he barricades himself in his home and prays for dawn.

How long can one man survive in a world of vampires?

CONTRIBUTOR(S): Robertson Dean
PUBLISHER: Blackstone Publishing
YEAR: 1954
LENGTH: 317 pages (11 hours)
AGE: Adult
GENRE: Classics, Horror, Science Fiction
RECOMMENDED: N/A

General Vibe: What if the end of the world sucked because there are no more non-deadly women to fuck?

DNF 3% in.

Having heard for years that the book "I Am Legend" is much better than the movie (which I liked), I tried the book.

Holy crap, that was a quick DNF. The (cis, white, male) protagonist's main complaint about maybe being the last human is how it made him involuntarily celibate. Written in the 1950's, this has not aged well. Also, his reaction to vampire babes moaning sexily outside his window is to be upset about how much he wants to but can't/shouldn't fuck them. I like sexy vampires. I like unsexy vampires. I do not care for man complaining that sexy vampires are a trap.  I stopped after the weird thought exercise about whether vampires are worse than the mothers of politicians and arms manufacturers, distillers, and pornographers. 

The one thing I will grant it is that the audiobook narrator did a great job, their narration reinforced the trapped feeling of his perspective, how much he focuses his thoughts on emotionally safe pathways (for him), and tries to avoid his distress. Unfortunately those pathways are sexist as fuck. 

Moderate CW for sexism, misogyny, cursing, grief, alcohol, drug use, medical content, injury detail, child death, death.

Minor CW for war.

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A slightly blurry image of vampires with bared fangs, standing in columns stretching into the distance.


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